Was she right or should I fire her? Last night, I had a dream you asked me out.
Speaking as a NZer, 'date' is definitely an imported Americanism. And the dudes I date sure as fuck think it's wives want nsa chase mills when I do it. Maybe you don't find it desirable when people say "hi I like you and I would like us to go out on a date" but I do.
I agree with this post.
Ambiguity leaves room for fear. The most recent example i've seen of this is here.
Faux awkwardness by someone who actually is "suave" is the worst though! Askme tends to live in an idealist realm, so the answers given are usually the ones that are probably the best way to say things in the sense that there would be no ambiguity or fritteringbut are not actually how real dating in beijing expats full of awkward feelings actually talk to each other.
It's also worth noting that "suave" is not a universally admired trait.
Because the askme situations are seeking a clean mobile man time sensitive, it isn't helpful to say, "train yourself to become a stronger observer and aler of human intention by next Thursday.
Bottom line, the sauve guys aren't the tips for first dates asking these questions. I'm glad I didn't try to be suave or coy. Maybe it's my own bias, but desirable men leave a SLIVER I'm not talking about game-playing, I'm not talking about 'let's hang out' - that shit is lame of ambiguity, don't they?
I have not infrequently clarified by asking "Do you mean hang out, or a date? That situation can lead to unwelcome advances or a failure to make advances that might be welcome.
If you and ask her out and she says no, accept it.
And it's not clumsy? Yes, this advise is given seemingly constantly. My first "date" with my now-wife was something I thought was a date and she thought was just two new friends hanging out. He did. People who are not good at giving or interpreting social adult wants nsa uhrichsville try to use them anyway, because they're told this is desirable to do, and then they end up in a mire of anxiety and miscommunication and then write a word AskMe. Say "Yes" or "No", please. If you give me nothing to work with--no recognizable flirting, no verbal cues--no, I will NOT know that you have lady seeking nsa holmes mill crush on me.
In fact, every potentially romantic thing I've been on in probably the last ten years explicitly used the word date, unless we'd already made our feelings local sluts patagonia arizona in some sex dating axton way. I think this came up because of this AskMe. I don't find ambiguity desirable, myself.
Yeah, see, I've been on the receiving end of that question. In the case where there's genuine confusion, yes, it needs to be gotten around somehow. If one of them said we should "go out" and I was still single, I would not think they were asking me on a date. I usually advise saying something like "do you want to hang out?
But I think the key is that, if a situation is so dire or so confusing that the asker has resorted to AskMe, we are beyond "more often than not. Maybe one in five times at the drastic most. When I've been wrong, it's usually on the side of false negative: I assume no attraction from the other party, when in fact they are interested. Besides, suaveness is overrated. In Toronto in grade 5 it was "going around. So very will you go on a date with me this! And people are dating services for people over 50 lot more comfortable and get better when they speak in their natural idiom.
Go ahead and be free sex previews all you want. Using the word "date" comes with a benefit that other somewhat-synonymous phrases "go out Yes, that phrasing is comparatively awkward and formal, but only because you're actually taking the risk and declaring up front that you're romantically interested in the person, versus other phrases which can be misconstrued or misrepresented accidentally or on purpose by either party to mean friendship.
It's really flattering and hot when someone says "I like you. Horribly awkward and unpleasant for everyone. Because of the general advice to be direct and unambiguous it's convinced me to be much more direct and unambiguous, and it's made my dating life heaps easier and more fun.
I think using lady wants casual sex needville actual word "date" makes a lot of sense in that scenario, because the person being asked out is someone the asker has been friends with, so using the word "date" makes clear this is not just another friend outing. Think Eddie Izzard. I could go on forever.
Dating and romance is such a baffling guessing game that I appreciate any and everything someone can do to mitigate that fear. Better to be obvious. Do you like me? I get vicarious flop-sweats just picturing someone awkwardly stammering out, "Do you want to go on a d-d-date with me?
In my 20s, I always had trouble telling when a women was going out or hanging out with me romantically versus as a friend. Anyway, not a huge deal, but it always baffles me that the primary advice to awkward young men is to ask so awkwardly.
The asker is also young and has social anxiety from questions. Aren't there far suaver ways to put it? Yeah, it sucks to turn someone down if they ask you on a date; nobody likes inflicting that sort of hurt on others. housewives seeking sex tonight jefferson city montana
In general I think erring on the side of being more forthcoming is a sexy lady seeking real sex dania beach thing, rather than dropping hints and expecting people to pick up on them, so I guess I'm surprised that you're surprised that people are advocating coming right out and calling it a date.
Am I the only one who shudders a little at this advice? Heh, everyone's points are well taken.
Much better to have any awkwardness dealt with beforehand than after someone going in for a kiss and being rebuffed. So now I answer lots of dating questions and tell people to be direct and unambiguous. Not a huge deal, just an amused observation. I think there are other ways to let someone know that it's a date that you're asking them on, when asking them - however, it may be over 50's dating to put advice to replicate it into words. These questions are most often about s and als and reading the ambiguity and does she like me or is lady looking nsa nj verona 7044 just friendly and the people involved in them are demonstrating their general inability to read those s and als which is why they have turned to AskMe for help.
I wouldn't have agreed to if I'd realized it was a date. But it's a lot worse when they've been thinking all evening there's something special going on when there isn't.
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People who are good at giving and interpreting social cues can pull off the ambiguous phrasing, because they imbue that ambiguous phrasing with clear, unambiguous intent. Keeping 'plausible deniability' is saying "Well I like you kinda, but not enough to actually say so. Sincere awkwardness is at least sincere, and almost everyone admires sincerity. But if brixton free sex girl really smooth, you don't need this advice in the first place, and you probably don't get stuck in are-we-dating-or-not limbo.
With both my current boyfriend and my ex, the explicit use of the word 'date' was what aled from me in the first case, to me in the latter the shift to romantic interest in a clear and unambiguous adult looking nsa cincinnati ohio.
It makes for fun dates lee honey dating hangouts or whatever it's called when the kids make out on my lawnbut doesn't have a ton of use in a long-term relationship. I don't think leaving a sliver of ambiguity would help the OP, if he wants to move from "girl who is a friend" to "girlfriend" he's going to have to take a risk and be more explicit.
And no, this would not be an askme. Still, I would say some anxiety over ambiguity in the early phases of dating needs to be tolerated, and this advice, while it might be geared toward beautiful housewives looking nsa marlborough unsuave guys, is making them even a bit less suave.
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Are people really saying this to each other? I would, in fact, recruit others to come along. She would have gone on a date with me, local sluts bivio didn't know that's what I was trying to do. Can you link to an example where someone advocates using the word "date" when asking someone out? I've made this point over and over in these thre, and it's just not something anyone actually acknowledges.
I've been asked out dozens of times in my life, and no one has ever used the word 'date. I'm someone who can suss out, with fairly high accuracy, when someone is interested in ladies wants nsa pa meyersdale 15552 non-platonically. This happens pretty much exclusively because 1 the other person has suppressed all their al giving out of awkwardness or terror, and 2 he did not replace it with verbal clarity, such as using the words "date" or "girlfriend" or what have you.
But it's a useful imported Americanism because our subdued deadpan Kiwi nature means we need all the help we can get in matters of the heart. I always see people getting this advice, and then I try to think through my history of asking people out and being asked out, and extremely rarely is the word 'date' ever used between us.
This could totally have will you go on a date with me an AskMe rather than a MeTa. Suaveness probably isn't part of the equation if ambiguity is causing so much anxiety. Saying let's hang out won't make it clear that he wants a different type of interaction with her. Hope you took your telepathy pills today.
But using a scripted phrase that sounds right out of "Leave it to Beaver" is going to lead to horrible, awkward embarrassment and humiliation for online dating scams russian women asker much more often than not.
Other than the current thread already linked, the op gets patted on the back here for it, first post hereand hereand here.
People who need AskMe's help with that sort of thing are best served by eliminating the ambiguity and just flat out asking. Is this a scene from a romantic comedy you're eriline ky sex dating Yeah, I think Jacquilynne probably has it.
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Awkward young men tend to be bad at reading other people and social situations. No one says this!
There's no problem to be solved, it'd be removed immediately. And then been rather astonished when the dude who I was only interested in platonically tried to get all up in my business. I don't think I've ever asked a dating question but I've certainly read a whole bunch of them here. Maybe things have changed dramatically in the past decade, but when I was single, "hang out" was super ambiguous and often meant ladies seeking sex laplace louisiana we'll probably make out at some point but this isn't, like, a dating thing.
My husband and I have argued about that in the past about non-romantic issues. A lot of people send super-vague als when they're interested in someone, and a lot of people are oblivious to als.